beanereaners' Journal

11:45pm: meh
well i just finished filming the school musical for its last night and near the end we had to film the dirctors and all that come out there are 3 cameras going on and the other camera that was doing really close close ups screwd up and the caller for wut camera goes on the air and can;t be changed was furious and was like omg it looks like crap i am very much depressed and put down if i let a boss person down or someone down for a job i was a part of or had to do there are other issues too that have brought me down right now not just the camera thingy but i will bring that up later buh bye

4:27pm: here
well i am in ms krickmires room right now with my cast for the play we are doing called after math but its a two-one act so the act we are in is called the game its is quite amusing it is obsered theatered so it pretty much does not make scence at all not to be rationalized but i think it is a perfect interpretation of teritorialism like seriously perfect its fabulous i will put up the dates some other time but i really need to leave buh bye

11:25am: update
ok just cause i wrote alot in my last one i want to add a face for my penguins to emfasize how i was feeling at the time even though it was only 5 min ago

11:17am: stuff
the musical is going on now. my school is doing guys and dolls. i am doing the video camera for filming the event. yeah thats right i am in Av club but i must say i am so the kewlest person in av and one of the very few girls. i don't know why i joined i guess i just like to tape stuff. like home videos and stuff and i have a good eye for camera angles and wut looks good. i didn't do the school musical because i never do the school musical stuff. like that one musical takes up almost the whole year. in performing arts i can do 4 plays with in the year, so far i have done 2 and am in the process of doing another one, then i am the lighting technition for the final play of the year even though i have no idea how it works but this is how i learn and i get to tell a freashman when to press the go button for the next light cue being the boss is fun but i have got alot of learning to do before i figure out wut lights go where. alot of my friends are in guys and dolls i love seeing them every showing and tech rehersal to support them. i have such a bog crush on one of the people who are in this play. but this person knows i exist, i am sort of friends with him. but i don't thihnk he likes me like that. and i think he has such a great personality and is so funny. but the more he shows no interest in me the more i want him. its a common problem i have. this has been the top thing on my mind for quite a while so far he has been in my dreams 4 nights in a row wow thats serious in my opinion. plus he is the type to not show if he likes u or not so i have no idea but i just keep believing that he doesn't like me like that at all. i need to not let this get at me, even though it does grrrr what is my problem can't i go more then 4 months with out any sort of liking person this does not include the many freashman that have a crush on me but lets not forget the cuet guy in a couple pf my pa classes i have some hope with that god i am so sad and i am abgering laurah so i should go and talk another time buh bye thanx for letting me vent live journal.

9:28am: i wish i had money. i wish that the guys i liked liked me back. instead i always have all these guys who i see nothing in besides a friend that always like me and at times,(most of the time) obsess over me and the one point where i would have such an interest in a person, it is the kind to have the least knowledge of my liking them and i never want to let them know myself cause i am not sure that they like me back and i don't want things to be wierd with that person. hmm to make things easier we will call him......mac yester. this is of course in code. idk i hate to sound so wighny but i can't help it when i have tons of freashman all over me and all i want is this other guy and he has no clue that i like him. and i have no clue if he has that slightest interest in me. meh i don't blame him. but i do rarley see him but a certain week of events will allow me to be around him more but maybe not directly. god why am i so sad. it might just be the fact that he has shown no interest in me that draws me to him. god thats sad. maybe i can do something about it during this week.

9:05am: March 8
Well for some odd reason i said up the eintire night on a school night and a sunday night which starts out the whole week. i took several vitamins that might be good or bad for me and had a couple cups of coffee. and even though i have late arrival at school i went to school for the two blocks that i have late arrival for. i must be insane. and all night i watched whale rider and its special features from renting the dvd from blockbuster. i am hoping to get a job at golden tans really really badly i need this job, it would be my first job if i get it but apparently some guy who was eyeing me the whole time i was filling out an application says he put in a good word for me with his wife who is "in charge of hiring people" god he better be telling the truth necause i would kill or injure to have this job